Reign of Ash Read online

  “So what of the Corruptor, how are we to know who the prophecy speaks of without the marks to rely on?” Darrin interjected.

  Effie raised a brow and pressed her lips together, as though trying to hide a smile, before stating, “I am not sure, but I suppose it would be obvious, given the prophecy’s warning of her betrayal.”

  Darrin scowled at her logic and turned away from the group while the men shared disturbed glances. Eventually, Kragen’s deep voice asked, “Is your Gran still here, child?”

  Effie shook her head, “No, sir. My Gran left a few years ago to live with her friends in the Baelian Forest.”

  Kragen brows rose in surprise, “She went to Bael? Do the tribes still live amongst the jungle beasts there?”

  “I do not know, sir. I’ve never been. She did leave me instructions on how to reach her, if I ever had need to. Should I…” she looked around before finishing her question, “Should I try to reach her?”

  “I think it would be very wise for us to speak with this Gran of yours, and perhaps with those friends of hers as well, especially if they are who I am starting to believe they might be,” Joquil answered.

  “And what of Micha?” Darrin asked, facing the group again.

  “Send for him,” Kragen said. “He could still be useful in determining where his sister is hiding. In the meantime, Effie, you will write to your Gran and see if we might be able to visit her.”

  Effie nodded moving to do so at once. Before she reached the door, she stopped, pausing in front of Helena, “I’m sorry, Kiri. I did not know my words would upset you so.”

  Helena reached out a hand and placed it gently on the girl’s arm. “There’s no reason to apologize, Effie. You might have very well given us a piece of the puzzle we so desperately needed.”

  Smiling with relief, she fled from the room. Helena looked up at her Circle after the door closed.

  “This changes everything,” Joquil declared.

  “This changes nothing,” Helena countered.

  “How can you possibly say that?” Darrin challenged, his green eyes narrowing.

  She lifted a hand to silence him, “Our mission has not changed. Finding Von is still our priority. It is perhaps even more crucial now than before because if her story is true… well, you heard her. If we are not able to complete our binding, it would be the end of us all.”

  The men were grim as they stared at her. Closing her eyes, she begged, Please, dear Mother, please let me find him in time.

  It was late when Effie opened the door to Helena’s room. She noted the hearth and the fire that had turned to smoldering embers with a flicker of concern. Using that as an excuse, she stepped inside, turning to close the heavy door with a soft click. That complete, she let herself take a few more tentative steps, scanning the dim room as she did. Still, she did not see Helena.

  Effie had just opened her mouth to call out her name when she noticed the figure half hidden behind the heavy curtains. Helena was staring out the window, the moon illuminating her with its blue glow, her eyes unblinking as they stared out into the night.

  “Is everything all right, Kiri?” Effie asked in a whisper-soft voice. Helena turned her head slowly, eyes blinking owlishly as she tried to place the girl’s face. It took a moment for clarity to arrive.

  She smiled sheepishly, her eyes sad as she asked, “Have you ever had a night where you had to stay awake to greet the dawn?” She turned her face back toward the sky as she continued, “A night where you could no longer be certain about the promise of a rising sun?” Helena sighed before adding even more quietly, “A night that felt so long and you felt so helpless, that you actually needed the safety of the sunlight, just to help you believe that all was not lost?” Despite the grief etched in every word, her voice was hollow, as though she was consciously trying to keep her emotions at bay.

  The maid’s lips turned down in an empathetic frown as she processed the questions. “I don’t know if I have ever quite felt that hopeless, Kiri, but I’ve never lost someone who I cared about in the way that you have. For what it’s worth, I’m sure that wherever he is, Von’s out there looking up at the sky wishing he was here with you too.”

  Helena’s answering smile was wistful.

  “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can get you?” the girl asked, desperate to wipe the despondency out of those aqua eyes. She had only known the Kiri a short time, but it was impossible not to feel her own heart breaking, just a little, as she watched her fight to hold onto her hope as another day passed without word of her Mate.

  Helena shook her head, “No, thank you. I’m just going to stay here and stargaze awhile longer. It was sweet of you to come up and check on me, Effie.”

  The girl nodded, still frowning as she walked out of the dim room.

  Helena felt a little of the tension ebb when she heard the door click shut. The mask she had been wearing these last couple of days was hard to maintain. She had stopped her nightly vigils by the fountain and had ensured that she made it to every meal on time. She had even made a conscious effort to get to know Von’s family. Helena was trying, she really was, but the empty space in her mind where Von’s voice used to be was cutting more deeply each day.

  She had never felt this kind of loneliness before, not even after her mother had passed away. There had been a time when she had been little and Miriam had traveled to a neighboring village to help a new mother with the birth of her first child. Helena had been distraught, too young to understand why her mother was leaving her. It had been the first time they had ever been separated and she had been inconsolable, crying for hours after Miriam left.

  Once the sun had gone down, Helena had gotten it into her head that she was going to go find her. Anderson caught her running down the dirt road just as the sun had set in the sky. After asking where she thought she was going, Anderson had sat her on his knee and solemnly pointed at the sky.

  “Do you see that star, little bug?” he asked.

  Helena had wiped dirt-smeared hands across her wet cheeks and nodded slowly as she continued to sniffle.

  “That’s the Mother’s star. You can see it from wherever you are in Tigaera. Do you know what that means?”

  Helena shook her head, her tears slowing as curiosity took over.

  “That means that the Great Mother is watchin’ over your Mama right now. So you don’t need to feel lonely, little bug. So long as the Great Mother has her in her sights, your Mama ain’t far at all. She’ll be tuckin’ you in right and proper again soon, but for now, you’ll keep old Anderson company until she gets home. Is that okay with you?” he asked in that same grave tone, peering into her tear-stained face with his kind green eyes.

  Helena sniffed back the last of the tears, “Doesn’t Darrin take care of you, Papa Anderson?”

  Anderson winked at her and ruffled his hand through her tangled curls, “You keep tellin’ him that, little bug. You just keep on tellin’ him that.”

  Helena covered her mouth as she giggled into her small hand.

  “There now, there’s my girl. I missed that pretty smile.”

  Helena grinned up at him, beaming with the full glory of her newly gap-toothed smile.

  “When you smile at me like that, little bug, you’re like my own personal ball of sunshine.”

  Helena threw her arms around his neck and squeezed with all the strength in her six-year-old body, tears long forgotten.

  Anderson stood with her slight weight in his arms, pretending to stagger as he groaned with mock strain. “My little bug has been growing again. Pretty soon you’ll be a real lady and you won’t want to come hear my stories anymore.”

  “Don’t be silly, Papa! You have the best stories,” Helena assured him as he started walking toward his small cottage. “Will you tell me the one about the lost Kiri?”

  “Again?” Anderson asked, feigning surprise.

  “Please Papa Anderson!” she begged, “It’s my favorite!”

  He pretended to consider i
t, thick gray brows furrowing, “Well, alright, if you insist little bug. Can you help me remember how it starts?” Helena enthusiastically began to recount the story as Anderson carried her back inside, his low voice eventually joining in with hers.

  It was not lost on Helena that the story she had so loved to hear when she had been younger had ended up being about her. But as with many things looked upon with age-wizened eyes, she no longer felt the same when recalling that story. There was no flutter of delight when thinking about where the lost Kiri could be, nor about the idea of the Mother’s star.

  As much as she wished that the Mother was watching over Von, she knew that he wasn’t out there staring up at a star in the night sky thinking of her doing the same. No, Helena was certain that wherever Von was he was definitely not looking at stars. If he was, she would be able to feel him instead of the bottomless silence that had taken up residence inside her, taken up residence in the space that had been his and his alone. Wherever he was, if Von had been able to contact her he would have done so by now, which meant that something must be preventing him from doing so. If that was the case, Helena was going to need a not so small miracle in order to find him.

  So she stood there, head pressed against the cool stone as she stared out into the night sky, praying that the Mother would grant her another day and another chance at finding some answers.

  Chapter Four

  The mist swirled around him, making it impossible to discern anything past the stretch of his arm. Sometimes he would hear voices calling him, but when he tried to chase after them, all he would find was more of the dense fog. Von continued to wander aimlessly, searching for something that would help him escape this place. He had lost all track of time and had no recollection of how he got here.

  The only thing that had been constant was the overwhelming feeling that he was forgetting something. It was as though he had lost something and desperately needed to find it, but he didn’t know what that something was and the harder he tried to recall what it was, the more confused he became. His thoughts and memories were slipping away like grains of sand slipping through his fingers. All he knew was the swirling fog.

  “Von!” a childlike voice called from somewhere within the mist.

  He spun, gray eyes scanning the horizon for the source of the voice.

  “Come catch me!” the voice taunted, seeming to come from further away.

  Von took a few tentative steps forward, startled when the mist parted to reveal a grassy knoll that hinted at familiarity. He blinked a few times, his eyes squinting against the harsh light of the sun which shone down from a cloudless blue sky.

  “Betcha can’t reach me before I get to the stables!” the small boy called to him over his shoulder as he ran down the hill toward a sprawling manor home. He had a mop of dark hair that was blown back as his arms and legs pumped furiously.

  He was not aware of making a conscious decision to chase after the boy before he was already running; his legs felt much shorter than they had only moments before. Von looked down, surprise flaring brightly before fading almost immediately. Gone were legs that were thickly corded with muscle and his hands were no longer calloused or battle-scarred. He was no longer a man in a man’s body, but a boy merely on the cusp of manhood.

  There was no time to wonder at the change, the urgency to catch the boy spurred him into action. Even stunted, Von’s legs made easy work of the distance between them, and he was upon the boy within a few heartbeats. The stormy eyes grew wide when they noted how close he had gotten. The boy’s tongue darted out, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he pushed with all he had to try and clear the remaining distance between himself and the wooden stables only a few lengths away.

  Despite the unfamiliar pang in his chest at the sight of the boy, Von felt no mercy and easily overcame him, hand slapping against the wood in clear victory. The boy skidded to a stop a hairsbreadth before he would have crashed into the side of the stables. He was scowling in disappointment, face flushed from the exertion.

  Now that they were closer, Von could study the boy more carefully. He was no more than seven and small with dark hair that was thick with waves. His blue-gray eyes were so large that they seemed to take up the entirety of his face and were currently staring up at him with something akin to worship shining in their depths. Before Von had a chance to say anything, the boy’s lips twisted back in a disappointed grimace, “I almost had you that time!”

  Von’s hand moved on its own accord, ruffling the mop of hair as an unfamiliar voice said, “You’ll catch me one day, Squirt.” Von took a mental pause, trying to catalogue the differences in his voice. It was not so much unfamiliar as long forgotten. It was still his voice, but lacking the deep inflection and growl that had developed over the years. It was warm, unburdened, and still ringing with the innocence of one more boy than man.

  His hand started to shake and a sense of foreboding shot through him as the core part of himself, the part that was still Von, the man, realized what he was seeing. “Nial,” he said in a strangled voice.

  The boy looked up at him from the side of his eye, tongue slipping back out as though weighing his next words.

  “Nial!” he shouted, wrapping the boy in a bone-crushing hug.

  “Get off me,” his brother grunted, trying, unsuccessfully, to push away from his brother’s uncommon display of affection, even though it secretly made him warm with happiness to receive the attention.

  “Let’s go look at the new horse father brought home!” Nial declared, already making a move in that direction.

  Von’s hand lurched out and caught the back of his brother’s shirt, pulling him up short, “No!”

  Dark brows lowered over bright eyes, “Stop treating me like a baby. I can ride just as well as you can!”

  Terror raced through Von at the words. His own lips had mouthed them as his brother spoke. He had witnessed this scene before; he had not only witnessed it, he had lived through and barely survived it. Perhaps this was his chance to do it over, to change the outcome and save his brother from a lifetime of agony.

  Nial struggled against Von’s hold, finally slipping from the tight grip by wriggling his way out of the rough-spun shirt.

  “Nial!” Von shouted as the boy hurried away from him and rounded the corner into the stables. The stable boys were nowhere to be found, likely off having a quick lunch before returning to their afternoon chores.

  Despite his speed, Von did not make it into the stables in time. His brother had already thrown himself atop the black stallion, too excited to notice the eyes that swirled with madness at his unwelcome presence.

  “Nial,” Von said, his voice trembling with fear despite trying to speak calmly, “get down from there. If you want to ride, we’ll get the pony ready for you.”

  His brother’s cheeks flushed with wounded pride, “I’m too big for the pony! ‘Sides I’m an excellent rider, you told me so yourself!”

  “Yes, Squirt, you are an excellent rider, but that horse has no love for any rider. He’s not ready for you,” Von’s voice broke on the last word, cracking with his anxiety as he tried to coax his brother from the horse.

  “He lets you ride him,” the voice was small, the words petulant.

  Von nodded slowly, daring to step closer to the horse as he said, “Yes, but just barely. The beast fought me every step of the way. Let’s get you down from there and I will let you ride Kismet.” Kismet was Von’s new wolf and he had refused, until now, to let his brother get anywhere near him.

  He could see the debate warring in his brother’s eyes but knew he had lost when the small shoulders straightened with determination. “I can do this, Von. You just watch,” and with that, the boy kicked into the stallion’s sides.

  The horse reared, snorting angrily before kicking open the fence in front of him and tearing off out of the stables.

  Von saw his brother’s eyes widen in panic; his small mouth opened on a soundless scream as he held on for all he was worth.
Von’s fingers scrambled clumsily as they tried to grasp the reigns, but it was too late. The stallion was enraged and using his anger to fuel his speed.

  Before he could mount and chase after his brother he heard the screams. Running at full speed, his heart pounding somewhere in the vicinity of his throat, Von rounded the corner just in time to watch his brother go flying from the back of the horse. He looked like a ragdoll, his limbs flailing bonelessly until he crumpled into a heap dangerously close to the stallion’s hooves.

  Nial cried out, one of his arms and both of his legs bent at awkward angles. Von swallowed back his fear, charging forward to try and get to his brother before the horse noticed him. He felt like he was running against water, each step harder and slower than the last. He knew what was going to happen and he was desperate to try and stop it from happening again.

  He opened his mouth to shout his brother’s name as the stallion reared again. Nial’s eyes were showing white as they rounded with fear. He was motionless as a stain began to grow in his tan trousers. A tear rolled down his young face, shame and fear colliding as the seconds slowed to hours. An entire lifetime passed in those handful of seconds. Nial’s frightened eyes found his brother’s, the panic tearing into him like a brand as he reached his one good arm out helplessly. He wouldn’t reach him in time. He would fail.

  The stallion’s hooves came down, and with a sickening crack and a scream, his brother fell back to the ground, unconscious. Von reached his side only moments later, the stallion running toward the forest and away from the small human that had set him off. The sight of blood and bone jutting out from his brother’s twisted limbs had Von bending over and retching. His whole body cramping as his stomach emptied again and again. As he knelt there beside his brother’s broken body, the mist began to swirl and overtake him.

  It was then he knew with certainty where he had been trapped all this time. The Mother was finally punishing him for his sins. He was in hell.